I wish the answer to that question was yes. But the year of perseverance was not yet close to being over.... I think the Lord was just getting started on showing me how that word was going to manifest itself in my life!
On the previous post, I left off on day 4 of starting our new lifestyle change on the paleo diet. I was pumped and so excited to see what was gonna transpire next.
Day 5 Oct. 24, 2014 - A day I will never forget. The day started out great! I had plenty of energy , and a spring in my step.... okay I'm not there yet but my hopes were high and I had a smile on my face and I was ready to start the day.
Sadly, Quincy had been fighting a respiratory infection that entire week. That morning, I felt she needed to stay home from school so we could treat her all day- and give her the best fighting chance to beat this.
To treat her, I had been doing breathing treatments by boiling water and adding essential oils to it. I had already done this several times during the week with her and she was improving.
Since it seemed to be helping and she was on the tail end of this, I decided we needed to do just one more breathing treatment.
I just got done boiling the water and poured it into a bowl to take over to the table.
I always have a pillow on my lap for added comfort that often works as a table for me to carry things on. I proceeded to put the bowl on my lap and right as I started to drive my wheelchair, the bowl fell over and the extremely hot, boiling water was pouring out all over my stomach and my left leg. OWWWWIEEE!
In desperation, I grabbed the bowl and the remaining boiling water was poured all over the palm of my right hand.
As I was screaming in agony, my courageous daughter runs over frantically ready and willing to do whatever needed to help me.
She took the bowl from me, immediately got some towels wet and placed them on my stomach. (Kinda forgot about my leg.... Oops) My hand was just so excruciating, I couldn't focus on anything else-so I drove over to the sink and stuck my hand under the running water.
I couldn't believe my eyes as I watched my skin just slough off... What in the world just happened?? So my daughter calls 911. The paramedics showed up within minutes and so did Adam.
When they took my hand out of the running water- the reality of the pain was too much and I just started screaming. The pain was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
By this time my little angel, Quincy, just started bawling and Macoy was running around saying "oh no mommy's going to die."
This whole situation completely broke my heart and I started bawling too- but through the tears, I reassured my children that mommy was going to be ok- I will get through this as God is with all of us right here right now... So just pray.
I just have to take a moment to share my gratitude for my children.
They amaze me every single day. The way they respond to adversity is just mind blowing. It just reassures me that the Lord is with us and answers all those prayers that go up every day to keep my kids strong and help them when they face difficult situations.
They are resilient, strong, courageous, funny and overcomers. They bless my life beyond measure.
Macoy has a lot of struggles of his own dealing with Aspergers- but this kid amazes me. He truly has overcome so much and rises above in difficult situations in ways that you wouldn't believe. It is only by Gods grace and mercy working in his life. He is an overcomer!
Quincy, my daughter embodies resilience and courage.
She really is an amazing child and I can't thank the Lord enough for blessing me with such a strong, undeniably beautiful spirited daughter. She has helped me countless times in what I would consider tragic situations and she never let's fear or worry consume her. She gets into like beast mode and goes far beyond what you would ever imagine an 8 year old could possibly do.
She has been my strength so many times... Truly unbelievable!
Anyway, the paramedics took me up to the emergency room at the U of U since it's the only burn unit in town.They assessed my burns and it was determined that I had second degree burns all over my stomach and hand. The one on my leg, was just red and they felt as if it was just a superficial burn (first degree) and wouldn't require treatment.
They proceeded to tell me that they needed to debrede my hand to get off all the dead skin... and man oh man did that hurt. They kept pumping me full of painkillers but still....I felt it.
My nerves were so mad at me. Literally, every part of my body just ached from the stress it was under. When Adam and the kids came up to get me- there were few words....... We all were kinda in shock. How could this be? Things were starting to look up and all week I was experiencing breakthroughs. I was so devastated...... We all were.
As we left the hospital, Adam had to use the back hand control on my wheelchair to drive me out. I'm right handed and my right hand was now all bandaged up and immobile. My body went into shock and I went paralyzed for weeks.
I lost all independence yet again. We were back at square one.
I really tried to understand God's purposes behind this and I truly tried to keep hope alive. I knew the Lord was with us and was going to carry us through this But man was it an emotional roller coaster ride full of ups and downs.
Everything was now on Adams plate.... he had to carry me in and out of bed and tuck me in... feed me, brush my hair, get me on and off the toilet, dress me and now wound care all on top of his hectic work schedule, taking care of the house and children.
Once again, I was under their umbrella of guilt fighting my way to get out from under it.
Tough one.
Anyway, the morning after I burned myself my leg was hurting so bad. I pulled my skirt up to look at it and I had a blister about 1 inch tall and 4 inches long. This is the burn that was completely neglected. We didn't put any water on it when it first happened nor did the hospital think it would require any treatment. They thought it was just a first degree superficial burn.
I called up to the hospital and they advised me to just leave it alone and that they couldn't give any medical advice over the phone. They instructed me to go to an instacare if I was concerned about it or just wait til Monday when I had an appointment with the burn clinic doctors for follow up. So that's what I did... I just left it alone.
The next morning I woke up drenched. Yep, you guessed it that enormous blister had popped! Ewww! We cleaned it up and tried to cover it the best we could but the supplies we were sent home with from the hospital really weren't suitable for a burn this size so we improvised.
That night, I had a really hard time falling asleep. I could not get comfortable. My entire body just ached. I couldn't move to adjust myself so I just layed there in pain. As I layed there, I turned to Jesus in prayer as I do every night and just cried my heart out to him and eventually fell asleep....that is until I was abruptly woken up by excruciating shots of pain on the right side of my chest and shortness of breath.
I couldn't believe it.... Now what? So I tried to relax and take deep breathes and with every breath the pain just got worse. My thought was that my organs were shutting down due to the traumatic events of the last few days and so I started praying Lord, just take me home... I'm ready. And that still small voice came over me.... call 911. No, not again. I don't want to... I'm done Lord. Just take me home... Please?..... I seriously was ready and I just raised my arms in the air in desperation.. Please Jesus take me home. I think an hour passed as I layed there waiting for Jesus to come get me but apparently He wasn't finished with me yet... So, I woke Adam up..... "Honey, call 911"
Well here comes the firefighters/paramedics to my home again just two short days after my burns... They took me to IMC this time and the doctors ran multiple scans and xrays to find out what was going on.
After many hours the doctor came in with answers.. I had pancreatitis. What? How? His only assumption since I'm not a heavy drinker is due to the sludge they could see in my gallbladder and advised me to get in to have a Hida scan to see how well my gallbladder was functioning.
Wow. My head was spinning. Why this too? Cue tears. It now was 6:30 a.m. Monday morning. Adam came to get me and as he drove me in my wheelchair out to the car we were just numb. The entire car ride home we drove in pure silence. Despair was setting in.
When we got home I had hit a wall and was past tired but since Adam had to get to work soon and take the kids to school, I just stayed in my wheelchair and tried to sleep in it. Oh boy- not comfy at all!!! But I tried. I had another Dr appointment to get to in a few hours up at the U for followup with my burns. By the way-Just even talking about this makes me feel tired.
Well, sleep never came and it was time to get ready for my Dr. appt. as my dad was on his way. I was back in the predicament of not being able to drive again but at least this time I had my wheelchair van back and an awesome Dad willing to do whatever he could to help. :)
While meeting with the burn doctors, I told them of the burn on my leg that blistered and then broke open. They went to examine it and remove the bandage but um... It was not so much on any more...oops, didn't even realize. I guess with all I had been through the night before I didn't think much about it and somehow it had fallen off.
It looked really bad.... Infection was setting in. They informed me I had cellulitis and gave me the procedure and items to care for my burns but I'd have to be up there again in a few days to make sure the infection was not spreading.
My mom started coming over everyday to do wound care to at least take one thing off Adams plate. And I must say; she is darn good at it. Working in the o.r for all of my life truly paid off- I was in good hands. She was really concerned though as it didn't look like the infection in my leg was getting any better...it was actually spreading and now the burn on my stomach too seemed as if it was infected. Good thing I had another appointment with the burn clinic the next day.
Sure enough, the infection was spreading and now they ordered that we change the bandages twice a day. They were also concerned that I was gonna need skin grafts so we needed to keep a close eye on them.
With my moms work schedule, she could still only make it after work so we determined it was time to get Home Health in here.
I required a lot of help which is very humbling.... I took a lot of pride in my independence....but it was definitely time. It was just too hard on my family.
Thankfully, I had outstanding nurses who made this very difficult transition in my life so much easier. They were in my home everyday taking care of my every need for awhile.
Performing wound care, bathing, cath care,occupational and physical Therapy, etc. It was good to have help when I needed it. They really were amazing and I was so blessed.
I had some awesome nurses and I could definitely see Gods hand in the midst of this season as He made divine appointments with each one of them and I was able to share my heart and love for Jesus.
It was very humbling for me to need this level of care, but I found purpose for my pain when the Lord used my circumstances to shine hope into others lives!
While going through all this, I was still having major gallbladder problems and could hardly eat anything without pain. On top of that, my bladder was spasming non stop due to neurogenic bladder, actually becoming the main source of my misery.
My life consisted of Dr appointments and home care every day. In between visits to the burn clinic, I had weekly appointments with my urologist to determine the best coarse of action regarding my neurogenic bladder. I underwent botox on my bladder to help with the spams and we talked about surgery but we couldn't do anything until my burns were healed and infection cleared up.
After a couple weeks, I was finally able to get back to IMC for the Hida scan on my gallbladder to determine the level of function.
As I layed there and watched the screen of nothing happening during the Hida scan I knew I was gonna need my gallbladder out. :( poo! Turns out it was only functioning at 4%.
But once again still in a predicament- can't do anything until my burns and infection was all healed up. Ugh.
After the Hida scan, my Dad and I went back to my house. As we walked in the door, We noticed the back door was wide open.
What's going on? I know we locked it...???
Then the closer we got- reality set it. Someone broke into our house....
Unbelievable?! Why?????? I just lost it. I felt so violated and really? why? after all we've been through.
We walked through the house trying to even figure out what was taken. Our room was trashed and every drawer open and scrummaged through. I didn't notice anything missing. I returned to the living room and I noticed the empty spot on the TV stand.... They took Macoys gaming systems.
Ooh man, how was I going to break it to him.. ?? He would not understand. Poor kid. He's the sweetest, most loving, kind and caring kid around and when we broke the news to him he didn't take it lightly.
He couldn't understand why someone would do this to him and took it very personally. It truly was heartbreaking :(
Although we were devastated and couldn't understand- still there was a lesson to be learned in this as the Lord has a purposes and a plan for everything we face. So we had a real heart check. We had to see past ourselves and our sadness over our "stuff" that was taken and to pray for the individuals who broke in as they were in a pretty desperate place if they felt the need to do this and not have a care in the world of who or how it would effect them. :(
At this point though, I literally became numb. Actually both Adam and I. We tried our best to hold it together for the kids. But man- it was beyond tough.
We knew exactly what we needed to do to pull through this......"Persevere".
The Lord was with us and called us to trust Him as He says in his word "He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion" so we knew He would not leave us hanging. We cried out for help daily.
Amazingly, God answered those prayers through countless individuals who came alongside us to offer a helping hand, encouraging word, meals, prayers and support.
We were blessed beyond measure and were so humbled and grateful for the love we received from others to turn a dark situation into some beautiful.
To all of you who were there for us during our time of need, I can't say thank you enough. You really were the hands and feet of Jesus ministering to us.
Anyway, after about a 2 weeks of daily wound care, Little by little the infection started to fade and the healing began.
Even skin buds started to form and I was in the clear and skin grafts were not needed. Oh how I needed this good news!!! Especially since Thanksgiving was upon us.I was really looking forward to gathering with family to help get my mind off everything we'd been going through. Still having issues with the gallbladder; I knew I wouldn't be eating much but I really longed for the company.
Sadly, the day before Thanksgiving, I became really sick. Fever, chills- the works.Due to the over activity of my immune system - I went paralyzed again.
This was a very, very sad day for my family. We were just devastated. I wanted them to still go and eat with the family and get out and still try to enjoy this day. So they went and Adam just made sure I had everything at my fingertips and was comfortable. The second the door shut and they had left the house- I was overwhelmed with emotion and I think everything we had just been through over the past month swept over me because I just started sobbing and I mean drenched sobbing. It was a cry I've never experienced before but in that moment I felt the warmth and love from Jesus like never before. He was there weeping with me.
It was a very somber holiday for us all. But we got through it and thankfully I recovered from the sickness and paralysis within a few days.
There was a lot to do and I was just really looking forward to getting it all behind us so we could move forward. So, the following Monday morning I got on the phone and I scheduled my surgeries now that my burns were healing up.
First was my gallbladder removal on December 12th.
Surgery went well but recovery was tough. Very painful. With every breath it felt like I was being stabbed and still very hard to eat much of anything. Then on December 31st had surgery on my bladder to have a suprapubic Cather inserted. Due to equipment malfunctions that day I didn't get into the operating room until 11:30 p.m. We were literally persevering right to the very end..
This year was by far the most challenging and difficult yet rewarding times in our lives.
I could see how in the midst of these trials we faced this year that I had a choice to make daily. Who was I going to give the victory over to? I could fall into the pit of despair and self pity as Satan was constantly whispering in my ears to give up or trust in the one who knows me intimately and was calling me to rest in Him as he carried me through this?
It a was a battle. But everyday, I drew near to God through studying His word and everything He had to say about persevering, trials and overcoming adversity. I was greatly encouraged.
Being stuck in the house for the majority of the year, really made me appreciate just how special all the little things are that we take for granted each day. I appreciated the simplicity of a phone call, gathering together with others, being able to fellowship at church, spending time with friends and family. Nothing was superficial to me anymore. I realized how important it is to have others in your life to pray with, someone to tell you its all gonna be ok, be a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. Even though I couldn't physically leave my house to have fellowship. The Lord was bringing people to me to minister to my family and I during our time of need.
During this time I made deeper connections with friends and family that I wouldn't have otherwise. And above all a greater dependence and love on my Lord Jesus Christ! So for that, I'm extremely thankful!
James 1:12
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
Hope is alive!
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